#anecdote #parenting #storytellng In *[[The Whole-Brain Child]]*, there is a story about Marianna and her two-year-old toddler, Marco. One day, while Marianna was at work, she received a call informing her that Marco and his babysitter, Sofia, had been involved in a car accident. Rushing to the scene, she found Marco in the care of a firefighter and immediately took him into her arms. As soon as she held him, Marco, using his limited toddler vocabulary, tried to communicate what was most important to him: **"Eea Woo Woo."** To an outsider, this may have sounded like baby gibberish, but Marianna, her husband, and Sofia understood what he meant: - **Eea** = Sofia - **Woo Woo** = The sound of the ambulance that took Sofia away In his own way, Marco was narrating his experience: *"The woo woo came and took Eea."* ## How Parents Typically React to Trauma In situations like this, many parents might instinctively try to comfort their child by redirecting attention elsewhere: > *"Sophia is fine! Let’s go get some ice cream."* In the days that followed, they might also avoid mentioning the accident altogether, hoping to prevent their child from getting upset. However, this approach can leave a child confused and emotionally unsettled. The big, scary emotions remain, but the child is left without a clear understanding of what happened. ## Marianna’s Approach: Helping Marco Retell His Story Instead of distracting him, Marianna helped Marco process the event by encouraging him to retell his story multiple times. She prompted him with questions like: - *"Yes, you and Sofia were in an accident, weren’t you?"* Marco would respond by stretching out his arms, imitating the seizures that Sofia had. - *"That’s right. And then the woo woo came and took Sofia to the doctor. But remember? We visited her yesterday, and she was doing just fine, wasn’t she?"* By allowing Marco to repeat and retell his experience, Marianna was helping him make sense of what had happened. This approach allowed him to process his emotions rather than suppress them. Over the next few days, Marco naturally began telling the story less and less, until, eventually, he no longer needed to. If his mother hadn't helped him tell and understand the story, Marco's fears would have been left unresolved and could have surfaced in other ways. He might have developed a phobia about riding in cars or being being separated from his parents, or his right brain might have raged out of control in other ways, causing him to tantrum frequently. ## Key Takeaway Encouraging children to verbalize their experiences, even in their limited language, helps them process trauma in a healthy way. By guiding them through their retelling, parents can support their emotional resilience rather than leaving them alone with overwhelming emotions. --- 📖 **Source:** *[[The Whole-Brain Child]]* 🔗 **Related Notes:** - *[[ENG - Encouraging Children to Tell Their Own Story Helps Them Process Emotions]]* - *[[ENG - Children's Unique Language for Processing Trauma]]* - [[ENG - Storytelling Helps Children Process Trauma]]